Worries of A First Time Mom and Chronic Overthinker

Ever look at your child and think “I made that lovely, beautiful creature and am so absolutely blessed to have her in my life ” and immediately have that thought be replaced by “Oh dear, please don’t let me fuck her up!”

Is it just the relative newness of being a parent or is it the fear we have from remembering the time our parents stepped in it?

For the most part I had a fairly conventional, happy childhood. In fact I remember mostly the good from it.

However I did end up with a broken jaw from an ATV accident at a very young age, I’m sure I ate and drink things I’d rather Lil’ Bit never look at much less put in her mouth. I guess what I’m really getting at is that I’m always wondering how much what I say, do and let her do are going to effect who she grows up to be.

And on a similar note, how much are the you-shouldn’t-let-your-child-do-things-like-that, extreme safety consciousness ideas our generation is  constantly using as a guideline in raising our own children taking away from who they could be? Are we raising wimps or worse, anxiety-ridden homebodies?

I really do wonder if my feeding Lil’ Bit mostly organic food, avoiding the word “no” and trying not to spank her little bottom when she misbehaves are hurting or helping.

What is the point of my pseudo-epiphany? I guess in the end all I can do is follow a constant piece of advice my mother gives me– “follow my heart”.

In the end in the event of worse case scenarios….she’ll have some REALLY good stories to tell….just hopefully not to her shrink.



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