I want Lil Bit to grow up, Not.

I keep finding the humor in life again….mostly due to Lil Bit.

My hubby and I were blessed enough to still be a awake for a baby monitor concert last night, vocals courtesy of Lil Bit, lyrics by Frozen (Disney) “Letitgo, Letitgo, let…it…goooooo!”

She loves to sing and I LOVE to listen. It may not be Beyoncé but The Lil Bit channel is my favorite.

She’s also started telling me stories, stringing sentences together. Last night I was privileged enough to hear one involving something to the degree of Mushu, the cat, treats, him needing water and a bath and her favorite thing “I want to do the NOT!” Everything she doesn’t want to do she says it in an affirmative way followed by not. As in ,”I want to go home, Not.”

She’s so wonderful, an extremely smart, beautiful, articulate little manipulator. Look out world…

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“Rain, rain, go a”…..oh, you can stay, makes for good snoozing

The monsoon has begun and little family is spending the evening eating froyo with BeBe who is home from college for Easter weekend and then curled up on the couch watching Amelie, one of this Empress’ favorite movies. The hubs is looking at new cars which I do not think we should afford even if we could. I have an overwhelming amount of graduate school debt that is driving me crazy and we’ve been kind of vacation happy lately.

Also we kind of go back and forth talking about having another child. It’s never been something that’s really seemed like an option. I was an only child for eight years and prayed for my sister every day for at least three of them, I hated not having a sister (not just a sibling but a sister in particular) to play with and share secrets with. Once she was born there was hardly anyone I loved more. Of course she got on my nerves at times when she was younger, we are pretty much complete opposites, but I truly wouldn’t know what to do without her.

The Moose on the other hand also has a younger sister, although not that much younger, and they barely get along even as adults. I can say from an outsiders point of view, having known my husband for almost the majority of our lives, I can understand why. There is definitely has been an undertone of favoritism (that seemed a bit unfair behavior wise, he was pretty well-behaved and his sister not so much) that has left a sour taste in his mouth about siblings. This in addition to what I am finding is a common concept among parents thinking about having another child, how can we love another one as much as we love Lil Bit? I know deep down we can and probably will, but even I have had the thought cross my mind more than once.

Hopefully we can leave it up to God in the end, especially considering the amount of time we tried and waited for our precious Lil Bit that we have now. To be honest though, being in the medical field and knowing the risks if I get much older, we will probably have to make a decision fairly soon or I will just be like nah….go get the snippy-clippy Moose. Haha.

I think it is time for me to curl up closer to a warm sleeping moose as the rain continues and dream…Goodnight.

Healthcare Reform: The doc is in!…sort of….

I’m typing this with the faintest hint of drool in the corner of my mouth as the Moose is in the kitchen preparing Chicken Marsala and the aroma is nearly intoxicating…Lil Bit has been growing leaps and bounds recently. Thanks to the beautiful soul at the magical world of Disney who developed Doc McStuffins, my sweetheart has been using one of her 3 medical kits to give her dolls (and Buzz Lightyear, a family fave) a check-up. She says “I have diagnosis” and holds one chubby little index finger midair in exaggerated proclamation.

I wish I could share the same enthusiasm when I “have a diagnosis” at work. Don’t get me wrong, I love the kids who I am lucky enough to be able to provide care for, it’s the faceless entity through which I am employed (who is also under the oppressive thumb of a separate, faceless entity called the Healthcare Reform Act) that is sucking the joy out of my practice. It’s not just me either…if you haven’t picked up a paper lately, many primary care private practices are closing down and either encompassing hospital-owned practice or working at urgent cares? For the ones staying open and the hospital practices, more patients are being filtered through with a focus on the quantity versus the quality. It’s a little dismal to me right now. Can you really honestly say that you “saw” or were able to listen to, diagnose, treat and educate 30-40 primary care practice patients per day? So why am I name-shaming the faceless entities? Trickle down effect folks, trickle down….healthcare reform act=less reimbursement from Medicaid, medicare, tricare and higher copays from private insurances keeping those patients away as well=less money for hospitals=either A) see more patients or B) people lose jobs.  I realize that this is a very simplified version of events but it’s real and discouraging for a new provider who during my clinical rotations saw 15-20 patients per day with the majority of them feeling satisfied  that someone listened to them and with me as their provider feeling I had given them good care.

I’m giving it my year, but I have to say I’m a little disappointed that some of the “dream” in my dream job is less ethereal than I imagined. Maybe I just need a trip to Disney (again) to renew some of my childish enthusiasm, good thing we are going in May for a weekend, maybe I’ll come back feeling as cheery as the “Doc” when she cures her toys of “stuffinemia” and like “illnesses”.  🙂