Early AM Thoughts as an NP

As I sit, waiting on my day to begin, I wonder what sort of people I will meet today. Working in two different clinics makes for a variety of patients and is anything but boring. My hands are a little shaky from coffee that I’ve gulped down this morning and I always wonder if my coworkers will thing I have some sort of neurological disorder as a result. Without it, I’m sluggish and a little grumpy.
Everyday people come in and out of our lives as providers and some days I wonder why I even bother to do this job. I feel so limited in my ability to help that I look upon those in different professions with envy. I watch my little sister struggle to make everything perfect for the little minds she is going to teach and influence this year and know that I’m not the right person for her job. I watch the cops directing traffic in the morning and know that they too are much more of a fit for their job than I. The mom at my daughters daycare who drops off her two little ones while she has a small infant strapped to her chest in a carrier also seems to be a fit for her job. She lets go of their hands with a smile, kisses and hugs are given, then she turns to leave and tends to her baby. All of these people seem content with what they do.
Provider burn out is a real thing we are seeing in our lifetime. Copious amounts of debt for schooling, feeling trapped at times in a less-than-ideal work situation to pay said debt and are also limited by insurance companies and healthcare systems in the way they provide care. Everywhere I turn I see demands for more followed by less and less appreciation rather it be financial or gracious. Maybe it is our fault for expecting the same respect towards ourselves that we try to give our patients, maybe it’s just a thankless job some days. Or maybe healthcare should be run a little less like a business and more like a service as it did in the beginning. The current reform is little more than a sham to try to pursuance the public that politicians are concerned with the nations healthcare. I think our food labeling should suggest otherwise–that it’s all about money and who’s feeding whose pockets. Anyway, these are just some my early morning thoughts…..

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